Why the term “At Least” is not helpful

Everyone has challenges in their lives in one form or another. With any form of loss from losing items right through to loss of a relationship, pet and especially a life, as human beings we need support, understanding and empathy.

As a medium and a celebrant, I’m faced a lot with others grief and do my best to support and empathise as much as I’m able to. As I know from my own personal experience when going through any type of grief that other people’s support and compassion helps me through it. It doesn’t fix it but it helps.

One of the expressions I found the most difficult to deal with is when I have gone through any type of loss is the term “at least”, diminishing my feelings and more or less telling me to “zip it up”. Which can be a way our society deals with things. Often the Indigenous cultures deal with grief and loss a whole lot better. They embrace and allow the grief process.

Recently I lost my wallet which is something logically I can replace and is not the end of the world. However, at the time I felt sick and all I could think about was “how am I going to buy my family Christmas presents?!”. My children and some friends were awesome and said “that sucks” or similar things. I felt understood and supported. A well-meaning person made decided to be matter of fact and obviously thought I needed some pull yourself together words by saying: “you can replace a wallet, it’s only cards for goodness sake”. Which made me feel like I was being told off and not allowed to be upset.

There was a loss of someone’s pet recently and I heard some lovely supportive words “oh that’s sad, I’m really sad to hear that. Verses some comments “oh well at least it was quick or they can get a new pet”. To be honest some comments flabbergasted me. They felt cold and unfeeling. I could not help think “How would you feel if it was you?”.

When someone loses a loved one it is hard to know what to say. I good thing to say can be things like “I’m so sorry to hear this” or “I’m so sorry that must be really hard for you”. Be authentic, people can tell immediately if you are being congruent or not. Refrain from words such as “at least they are in a better place” “At least they are no longer suffering”. Do your best to hold back from saying “at least or oh well” comments as usually they are not helpful. In fact, usually these type of phrases often makes the person feel worse. Diminishing their feelings, like they are not allowed to grieve, have emotions or feel upset.

Loss and grief are part of the human experience. If you feel grief you are allowed to express yourself as long as you like and go through the process. There is NO time limit of grief or fixed structure or process. It is personal and different for everyone. When speaking to someone dealing with any sort of challenge, problem, difficulties, loss or grief be mindful of how they would feel. Put yourself in their shoes and think “if that was me how would I feel”. Empathy, kindness, understanding and compassion go a long way. If someone hurts you by not allowing you to be upset or in grief you are entitled to say “that statement does not help me”. It is good for you to express how you feel and good them to be told how you feel. Be strong, have courage and don’t be afraid to be the authentic you.

Blessings and love


Can spirit influence our lives and circumstances?

This is a question many of us ask and something that I have been aware of in recent times. 

There have been several times when I have asked for the support from the spirit world in situations that I was not sure of and some of them were out of my control. I have asked them to please help support me in circumstances to bring about the best possible outcome for all concerned. I have to say they have answered my prayers in a time that I did not expect and definitely not in the way I would have expected either. 

It is like the saying “God works in mysterious ways” and so it is with the spirit world. If you have a problem or something that you need sorting out, if you ask them in your mind (much like a conversation) they will answer you in their own time and often in a different way than you expect. Things happen usually when you least expect them to and they are quite remarkable. 

Sometimes you may notice synchronistic circumstances, meet someone unexpectedly, receive an email, phone call or have just been in the right place at the right time. 

I met my husband because of my hot water cylinder breaking down. At the time I was a single mum of 3 and I was devastated because life was challenging with a family to look after 24/7 on my own. It was through these circumstances I met the man I was supposed to marry and spend the rest of my life with. 

We have all experienced things like this in our life. Sometimes we may feel moved to contact someone, be somewhere or do something special for ourselves and when we follow these instincts things usually turn out for the better. At other times we know we should not do or say something and really wish we hadn’t. This is because we are being guided.

Spirit are not controlling you, only guiding you and because of their great intelligence and love they have for you, they only want the best for you. Remember you have free will and will never be forced by them into situations that are not for your highest good or for your best interests or anyone else’s either. 

If you are having any problems or have things you wish to sort out, ask them in your mind and then let it go. It is in the allowing and letting go that you often get the best results and outcomes. I hope this discussion can help you with anything you need help with. Reach out to spirit and see what happens. They do care for you and love you. They are a great intelligence and only want peace, health and happiness for you. 

Blessings and love 


How can a medium, psychic or healer pick up information remotely through technology such as phone, skype, zoom etc?

This is a question I get asked often when doing readings. As it seems logical to us as human beings that a person needs to be physically present for a psychic, medium or healer to pick up information about another person. This is a way a lot people think and from a logical perspective I understand where they are coming from.

However, from working in the field for over 25 years I know with full certainty this is not true. Psychic energy is powerful along with the energy of the spirit world. Saying that, to pick up on the energy at times can be subtle and you have to be tuned in and ultra-sensitive to do so.  

About two years ago I was online in a zoom class with other mediums. I could feel the energy of my father almost right next to me. Another medium was demonstrating and he was based in Germany. His opening line was “Kerry-Marie I can feel your father here right beside me”. So here I am in New Zealand and another medium is picking up the same energy thousands of miles away. There was no doubt, from the information he gave about my father, that was indeed his spirit and the message passed onto me is something I will never forget as it was so true and profound. Only a week ago I did a remote healing for a lady I had not met and I picked up on her condition and her father in spirit who was healing her a specific way with the same modality he practiced on earth. Isn’t that incredible? 

When I am doing a healing, I can also do this remotely working with the spirit world. Recently a friend of mine in the UK was suffering with Covid-19 and I did not know much about the condition at the time. The one thing that was so relevant was that I had no idea that often with Covid you lose your sense of smell and taste and your eyes are dry. She said to me that during the healing her eyes were streaming with tears.  She is 12,000 miles away and she could feel the healing strongly through her body. After that her condition improved. 

Often when I am giving a reading via zoom, skype or phone I can pick up ailments with my sitter and those in the spirit world, such as chest pains, sore legs, headaches etc. I can feel the sitter’s energy and that of spirit. The evidence that comes through is just as profound as when someone is sitting right in front of me.  In some ways I find doing my work remotely easier as I am not distracted by as much chit chat or body language. We have an hour and I just get on with it so to speak. It is a great experience, efficient and easy. 

So as a psychic medium and healer I can personally pick up on your energy just as easily and the spirit world are happy to work this way. We don’t always understand things in life and this makes this dynamic even more amazing and remarkable. 

Does the spirit world show us signs?

People often ask me this question and yes, I know it to be true.

Spirit are no longer able to communicate through a physical body and they are now an energy and spirit containing their soul, so they must find a different way to get through to us and communicate using other forms.

How do they do this? 

If you are a sensitive person, they are able to impress upon your auric field through visions and images in your mind, thoughts that come to you through your dreams, instinct, senses and what you feel. Sometimes they make you aware of something physical to get their message through to you.

The spirit world may draw your attention to something around you that you see as a sign of your loved one around you and looking out for you, such as a particular bird, butterfly, feather, coins, light flickering and so on. At times a song may come on the radio and your attention is drawn to it, or you may notice a headline or a number plate on a car. 

Does it mean my loved one is the bird or butterfly? 

The answer is no they are not, however often their energy is around something like this in the living and they draw your attention to it. I often see feathers, hear songs on the radio or observe lights flicker. I had an aunt who passed a few years ago and she adored birds and butterflies and I had so many birds and butterflies cross over my car on the way to her funeral. I knew this was her showing me that she was indeed around. 

Is it really my loved one coming to me in my dreams? 

Very often it is, and this is because you are relaxed in a different state of consciousness and they are often able to come to you in your dream state. If the dream is upsetting it is more likely to be your subconscious mind or fears coming through, not your loved one. They always come through with love and support. 

Can you ask a love one for a sign? 

The answer is “yes you can”, however, it is likely it won’t come through when or how you are expecting it to. Allow the process and see how it happens. Letting go and being open is the key to allowing signs to come through. They are often unexpected, in a way, a language of spirit. 

I wrote a poem about my Mum being a heart of gold and read it at her 80th birthday. I also read it to her a lot when she was going through her dying process and, lastly, at her funeral. After she passed, I heard so many songs about hearts of gold and I could feel her presence supporting me. I would also see many hearts of gold in the physical and my awareness would be drawn to them. 

Should I believe the signs as true or not believe them?

My answer is usually it is the loving presence of your loved ones showing things to you or letting you know they are around. It is a gift to you of their presence. Like a present, accept these signs graciously from your loved one, knowing they are supporting you. The more appreciative you are, the more you are likely to see more signs or feel them in the future. 

Do you believe in Fortune Telling?

Most of us have heard about someone who has been promised by a psychic or fortune teller things such as:  The knight in shining armour sweeping you off your feet, travelling the world and coming into an amazing fortune or windfull of some kind. It paints a pretty picture and conjures up all sort of images and sensations within us. 

Amazingly enough at times some of these types of predictions and fortunes actually come true like “you will live by the sea with a white picket fence and meet your soul mate in five years” and so the story goes. Is this because our subconscious mind has been influenced, or is it all real? Is some other type of dimension we are not aware of making this all come about?

What are my personal thoughts on fortune telling as a psychic medium? 

Firstly, I believe we have all been given the gift of free will and we do influence our lives by our own choices. It is about personal responsibility and accountability.  I do believe in energy and other dimensions along with a greater intelligence than ourselves. 

As humans we all have a certain psychic energy and “sixth sense” that we cannot always explain. Like you can walk into a room and can tell people have had an argument. That feeling “you can cut the atmosphere with a knife”. You meet someone and you can feel straight away if you like them or not. You think of someone and out of the blue they contact you. This is all about your own personal psychic gift. 

Human beings have an aura which is an electric magnetic field that radiates out from the body. Within the aura it contains, physical, emotional, mental and spiritual information about a person. Also, information about your past, present and potential for your future. By potential I mean the energy and direction you are going at that point in your life.  The more sensitive you are as an individual the more you are able to pick up on the energy of others. For example, if someone comes near me with a headache, I often straight away get their headache. When they move away from me the headache goes too. This is why, if we don’t know someone, we can feel uncomfortable when they get too close to us. You may feel “get out of my space”. In other words, you are protecting your aura. 

So, what about the “potential” and future stuff?  As a psychic I may pick up the potential of where someone is heading from their aura, however the important thing is because of free will, they can choose to change this direction at any given time.  At that time someone like a psychic may sense a situation for you as a potential and you can then decide to change this. It is not the psychic’s fault you change your life; they are reading the situation at the time. 

So as a psychic medium have I personally predicted amazing situations and events?

Well the answer is “yes I have”. But saying this I am not a fortune teller; I do not read minds and I cannot play God in anyone’s life. I do not know everything (far from it and don’t want to). Can I give you lotto numbers? No, I can’t and if I could I would be a very rich woman by now.  There is a lot of myths about what psychics can do and unrealistic expectation. We are human just like everyone else.

At times I have been given some amazing information from the spirit world. At one point I was connecting with the spirit of a clients deceased father. She was concerned about a piece of jewellery. I saw an eye wink at me and a voice “she will get an inheritance bigger than she thinks”. When I relayed the message, the client argued nicely with me saying this was not possible. Two weeks later she phoned me to say “I have just been given an advanced inheritance from my mother which is four times more than what I was expecting. The reason I could be given this information would have been because her deceased father would have been aware of his wife’s activities and what was being arranged.

Last year I was lucky enough to attend the Rugby World Cup in Japan. We were taken on a group tour and went to Hong Kong before travelling to Japan. I had just come down a mountain with a Buddhist temple and we had lunch with another couple. In the background I heard them discussing with another person the world cup and who would win. In my mind I thought “please don’t ask me as a psychic, please”! Then out of the blue I heard a loud voice say in my mind “Springboks”. I was so taken aback.  I told the couple and my husband and a few other people at the time. When I watched the All Blacks play South Africa at the first game, I felt so conflicted. Of course, I wanted my own country to win, however was confused re the previous message. The All Blacks did beat South Africa in the first match. When leaving the stadium, I asked my husband if South Africa could still win the cup and he said “yes, but it would be a lot more difficult”. We returned to NZ and after weeks of games, South Africa played in the finals against England. Lots of people believed in my prediction and won money from it.  Well done the Springboks. I was elated with their win. 

Could I do this again? My answer is “I have no idea”. To be honest it was a random occurrence and taught me that this information was given to me from another realm, not from me, it was unexpected, was not black and white, however it was correct. It taught me that I am given some information about the future only sometimes and when I do, trust it and respect it as well as respect that we all have free will, different ideas and opinions.

Finally, I would like to say to follow your own guidance, your own knowing and trust in yourself. You do influence your own future. A psychic may give you information or guidance and what you do with it is up to you. It is nice to know we don’t know everything and that we can create our own futures and destiny with the choices we make, we can’t control everything, only some things. 

What is this White Light Bubble of Protection?

Many people talk about putting yourself in a white light bubble of protection and that it can be very beneficial. Some people believe this to be true and others doubt its relevance. 

I can only pass onto you my own personal experience and what has worked for me.

Regularly I practice the white light bubble of protection not only for myself but also for those close to me, like my family and friends, and I find it really does work. For instance, I was running along a road and a dangerous dog started to growl and was about to attack me and so I created the white light bubble of protection in my mind’s eye and the dog ran around the width of the circle my mind had created and then left me alone. One night I woke up and knew my daughter was in danger so I created the white light bubble of protection around her and she phoned me the next day to tell me at the exact time of me doing this she had nearly been killed by a drunk driver. 

Often as human beings we may practice something and let it drop away. This is something I did in regards to the white light and bubble of protection. At the time I was working in a fairly hostile environment and found myself in tears often. At that time, I visited a life coach who asked me if I was practicing the white light bubble of protection. I knew I had let it slip away and so she suggested I start practicing this once again so I did. The bullying in the work place started to cease, except when I stopped practicing my bubble. So, I know that this practice is so important and to keep doing.

In these times of unrest and uncertainty we all feel the need to protect ourselves and those close to us.

So how do you create this white light bubble of protection?

The best way is to visualise the white light you may have seen at some point from a welding torch or something similar. Create in your mind’s eye a bright white bubble that goes all around you, above you and under you. You can do it in the morning or at anytime you feel you need extra protection.

Can I create a white bubble for others or things like my house when I leave it?

The answer is YES you can and often it works.

I cannot guarantee this practice as being 100% as you always need to use common sense to protect yourself. Don’t walk in dangerous areas, lock your car and your house, etc. You cannot rely on the white light of protection totally and remember this sort of practice is an experiment and something extra you can try. Be sensible, the white light bubble of protection is just an added practice that can work. You won’t know unless you try it yourself. Be safe and sensible about how you live your daily life as common sense can take you a long way also.

Blessings and love 


How to deal with stress, anxiety and worry

Most of us experience some sort of stress, anxiety and worry over our lifetime. Some is more complex and serious than others. It is part of the human experience of living on earth.Sometimes it feels like something we can deal with and at other times almost overwhelming. The “fight or flight” syndrome is very real and given to us as a gift to deal with serious frightening situations. At times though “fight or flight” kicks in as something humans can create as an unreal or unfounded fear.

As a spiritual practitioner I refer clients experiencing such difficulties to a trained professional who can help them in their own unique situation. There is no shame in reaching out or seeking help and in fact it is a brave courageous thing to do. I personally encourage it. Friends and family who you cantrust are also important when we feel life is to much, so don’tbe afraid to talk and to reach out to someone who cares and who loves and supports you. Know you are stronger than you think you are. 

Of recent times, because of the world crisis and pandemic, a lot of people are naturally caught up in fear of the unknown over their health, others suffering, family, economy and feelings of desperation or even loneliness. It may be a feeling that comes and goes and alters day to day depending on what is occurring around them or inside them. 

Something I recommend is to live day by day and in the present. The precious present which is indeed a gift given to us. Change what you can and let go of things and situations that are out of your control. Surround yourself with uplifting positive people or watch funny movies and listen to your favourite music. Get involved with something that interests you, a hobby or read great articles or books. Physical touch can be important so cuddle someone in your bubble, even if it is a pet or someone close to you. 

As a spiritual person I find the thing that helps me the most is to reach out to the spirit world to surround me with their love, peace and protection. I ask for there to be peace and healing for the earth and the human race. I am just one person and I know if a lot more of us asked for spiritual help and guidance they could help the dis ease causing disease to our world on many levels. The old saying “let go and let God” is quite significant over these times. 

So, remember to live day by day, live in the present, count your blessings, turn to those that love and support you, seek professional help if you need it whether it is health, finance, business, social and anything else. Know there is someone who can help you and support you. 

Lastly, know that the spirit world love and support you and are there whenever you need them. Talk to them in your mind, ask for their help and support and you may be surprised what occurs. 

Blessings and love, take care and look after you.


Let us be a united world

Of recent times I have found the world an interesting place and I am sure you would have too. A world that is changing day by because of Pandemic Crisis brought about by the Covid 19 virus and the battle it has caused. 

While in lockdown many of you noticed the cleaner water, air and beauty in nature.  Marine life appearing in clearer water and wild animals roaming the streets.

As much as it was wonderful to move to Level 2 in New Zealand, a certain sadness waved over me seeing all the vehicles on the road again and some of the peace & quiet been disrupted. 

Many people have wondered if the world as we know it will change for the better in the future and let’s hope it does. 

I have given a lot of deep thought to the suffering of others, the loss, sickness and upset of the economy, social contact and especially to the future or our children, grandchildren along with the health and security of future generations to come. 

From a spiritual perspective I know that the spirit world who love and support us always are encouraging us to work in unity, harmony and peace. A message given to us from our own government to “be kind”. 

I feel sadden at some of the disharmony, blaming and accusations in the world instead of unity and co-operation. The answer to this crisis is unity and working together as a team to progress towards our future as a whole, not divided. United we stand, divided we fall. 

We all have been given the gift of free will and speech and so it is up to you and to me to decide for ourselves how we wish to think, behave, speak and be.  I suggest with love to have open hearts, minds, kindness and compassion as the first step to help elevate the dis ease causing disease on our beautiful planet and world. We are all in this together, so let’s work on this together not only for ourselves, but for the future, our children, grandchildren and future generations. 

Blessings and love